As we all know, God directly determines the outcome of sports events such as, and especially, the Super Bowl (here, here, here, etc). He/She/It also uses weather to voice either displeasure or approval to his/her/it’s creations (here, here, here, etc). So the only logical conclusion is that God favors gay marriage, and pot.
The pot part is simple. There are only two states with legal, recreational marijuana laws. Of these two, two were in the Super Bowl. Literally any other team would have been from a non-recreational pot state. But God chose these two.
Then there is gay marriage. Let’s not even start with the teams here. The game was played in New Jersey, a gay marriage state, in a stadium uses by two New York teams, another gay marriage state.
That might be enough on its own but then there is the weather. January 2014 has been absolute hell for these two states. We have had more blizzards than I can count (seriously, I tried to count, I couldn’t) and entire weeks of near 0 degree temperatures. Got a flight to an NYC airport? It’s pretty much a coin toss.
But for the game with the two pot smoking states being played in the two gay marriage states? A beautiful spring day. Then the next day when a large number of fans were due to return to their non gay marriage states came the next blizzard and trapped them in gay marriage central.
Then of the two teams playing Washington has legal gay marriage, but Colorado merely has civil unions. So of course Colorado got clobbered. Super Bowl XLVIII continues a three year streak of the winning team being from a state that allows gay marriage.
So if you believe that God gives us signs (and to be clear I do not but I am taking other people at their word that they do), then the two pot smoking one gay marrying one civil unioning teams playing in the two gay marrying normally terrible weather but nice weather that day Super Bowl is a clear indication that God is a flaming liberal.
Thank you for lending me your logic. It was enjoyable.